It's odd. How I am still in one piece. He crushed me, again. I have never gone so low before - because of his words, actions, truth. Yet I am still breathing. It feels surreal. Like a little miracle. The sun feels like a miracle.

After last night; everything is a little miracle.

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell’s fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan’s men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you’d return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"

— Mad Girl’s Love Song by Sylvia Plath

What is beautiful in life?

I think of myself as a aesthete, I enjoy things that are beautiful and I like to surround myself with pretty things. I spot beautiful features in human beings just as in animals and in nature - and I have some great vivid memories from beautiful places, nature spots or human faces. But I found myself pondering just a moment ago - what is beautiful in life?

x  a smiling friend
x shadows
x snowflakes
x the sky (whether it is sunny or cloudly, dark or bright)
x the surface of water; waves; the way the water sings when i dive
x happiness in dog's eyes
x flowers that start to bloom after long winter
x songs that touch my heart
x birds
x horses that run free
x trees; coming to life after coldness
x the first words of a favorite book
x the first melodies of a favorite song
x the curve of lover's lips
x silence
x love